They shun attention and try to do the right thing and be good sons, husbands, and fathers, focusing instead on making a living and meeting the needs of their wives and children.
These codependent men sacrifice themselves and believe that their needs, including the need for time away from their wives, are selfish.
They felt like "regular" people who just wanted the all-American dream of true love.
They were blind to their revolving-door dating pattern, which they simply dismissed as a phenomenon of the modern Internet age of romance.
Having someone shape their whole life around you and cater to your every whim might sound great, at least in theory, but codependent relationships get unhealthy fast.
If that kind of one-sided pattern sounds like yours, you don't have to feel trapped."Codependent relationships signify a degree of unhealthy clinginess, where one person doesn't have self-sufficiency or autonomy," says Scott Wetzler, Ph D, psychology division chief at Albert Einstein College of Medicine."One or both parties depend on their loved ones for fulfillment." Anyone can become codependent.Societal and cultural values have shamed men as weak for expressing feelings or needs, which reinforces codependent traits of control, suppression of feelings, and denial of needs. The societal norm for male suppression of feelings is compounded and distorted if you grew up in a dysfunctional family where it wasn’t safe to express feelings and needs.It’s easier not to acknowledge feelings that are criticized or needs that are denied or shamed.The dilemmas of codependent men aren’t talked about.